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Moto Commandments ... Funny

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  • Moto Commandments ... Funny

    1. Every ride is optional. Every parking job is mandatory.

    2. If you push the bars left, the bike goes left. If you push the bars right, the bike goes right. That is, unless you continue pushing the bars all the way, then the bike will go down.

    3. Riding isn't dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

    4. It's always better to be on the sidelines wishing you were on the track than on the track wishing you were on the sidelines.

    5. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

    6. The rear wheel is just a big fan on back of the bike used to keep the rider cool and his/her butt relaxed. If going into a corner too fast, slamming on the rear brake causes the "fan" to abruptly stop. When this happens you can actually see the rider start sweating and his/her butt become tense.

    7. When in doubt, slow down. No one has ever hit something too slow.

    8. A 'good' ride is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' ride is one after which you can use the bike again.

    9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

    10. You know you've left the sidestand down when all left turn are Bat-turns. You know you've left the centerstand down when your in 1st gear at 4000 rpm going nowhere.

    11. Never let an motorcycle take you somewhere your brain didn't get to three seconds earlier.

    12. Always try to keep the number of times you put your sidestand down equal to the number of times you put the sidestand up.

    13. There are two simple rules for riding smoothly and fast in snow and on ice. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

    14. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

    15. If all you can see in your mirrors is sparks and all you can hear is screaming from your passenger, things may not be as they should be.

    16. In the ongoing battle between objects made of metal, rubber and fiberglass going 100+ miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. Same holds for cars, large trucks, and animals taller than you. Draws don't count.

    17. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

    18. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

    19. Remember, gravity and centrifical force are not just a good ideas. They're laws and are not subject to appeal.

    20. The two most useless things to a rider are the braking distance behind you and nine-tenth of a second ago.

  • #2
    Number eight is great,,,,,i may use that as my new quote on my profile....good post, if you dont remember these rules your gonna be :
    So?

    Comment


    • #3
      That is the most frightening picture. EVER.

      Comment


      • #4
        Look at that guys hand F$#@ing ouch

        Comment


        • #5
          I like #14.


          Man that's a scary pic.
          RIP Ron
          Sept. 12 2004

          Comment


          • #6
            ... yep ... lucky number 14!

            Comment


            • #7
              I wonder if the rider stayed up after hitting that speed bump...uhhh I mean arm!?

              Comment


              • #8
                that was a great post, some of them made me chuckle, but they are all pretty true. i will be showing this one to my roommate when i get home today, because he just bought his first bike.

                matt
                matt

                Parting out 2 bikes. Let me know what you may need.

                Comment


                • #9
                  3 and 20
                  That dude's hand is jacked up
                  TLOTM:
                  May 2003
                  August 2004

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    yeah, its jacking up the bike hes under

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Good words of wisdom...


                      Just a few mods:

                      Silver, the fastest color!

                      On the inside - HID type bulbs, K&N filter, Iridium ix plugs, 16T front sprocket, Coerce billet sprocket cover, Yosh re-map +5, +5, +5 11 o'clock, Scorpio SE-i500 system from my GB and an ATRE.

                      On the outside - TLR forks, front carbon fender, 5/8th master brake cylinder, black SS brake lines (frnt & rear), braking waves all around with Ti bolts, Brembo gold front calipers & a busa gold rear caliper, flush mount signals (frnt & rear), ZG DB scr

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Below are some rules regarding airplanes that a friend of mine emailed to me. I think you may find some similarities.

                        1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

                        2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

                        3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

                        4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

                        5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

                        6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

                        7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

                        8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

                        9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

                        10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

                        11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

                        12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

                        13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

                        14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

                        15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

                        16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

                        17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

                        18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

                        19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

                        20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

                        21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

                        22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

                        23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

                        24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          10. You know you've left the sidestand down when all left turn are Bat-turns. You know you've left the centerstand down when your in 1st gear at 4000 rpm going nowhere.
                          Originally posted by TLCURT
                          Because TL's fucking rock.

                          It's a cult thing...to own one is to love one.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Damn that guy is getting runed over and he still tries too give him the finger
                            Originally posted by TLCURT
                            Because TL's fucking rock.

                            It's a cult thing...to own one is to love one.

                            Comment

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